Opinions.

Definition: In general, an opinion is a judgement, viewpoint, or statement about matters commonly considered to be subjective.

Your parents have opinions about those insanely comfy jeans that make you look a little like a hobo, how many piercings you have in your ears, what kind of grades you should be getting. Your grandmother has opinions about Apple products, and good food, perfume, girls skirts and risqué TV shows. Giuliana Rancic has opinions about hair styles and 18 year old girls embracing their cultural backgrounds- but we wont get into that debate now. Mean girls at school have opinions about your laugh or your hair, the shoes you wore last week, the way you talk in front of a class. They will sit and chat and gossip and watch- making comments about you and the way you live your life. They have their opinions.

But so do you. Regardless of how much of your opinions you vocalise, you always have them. Whether or not you tell that mean girl at school she's being mean, you have an opinion on her behaviour. Whether or not you say to your best friend that her outfit is terrible (which you, as their best friend, are entirely obligated to do) you will have an opinion. About the new person your sibling is dating, a new teacher, a cultural issue, politics, shoes, people, places, food- you have an opinion on everything too.

It came to my attention a while ago that people talk about me more than I realised, and also in a negative way- they have a certain opinion of me. Not silly bitchy school girl comments about my outfit or my laugh or my hair, but about my personality.

I like to flatter myself into thinking I am a relatively good person. I try to be good to the people around me and minimise any negative impact I have, In essence I try to be nice a lot of the time. That was an attitude I have at times in my life taken to the extreme, and that has backed-fired on me on more than one occasion. Being "too nice" is something my mother warned me about when I was younger, because people take advantage of kindness if their standards are not the same as yours. That's true of any relationship: friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, colleagues etc. Being "too nice" can result in you becoming totally exhausted, lost to the idea of jumping from one thing to the next to the next and not enjoying life because your're not living it for yourself.

Over the years I have lost that essence of being "too nice". I think that after a long time I realised that trying to please everyone was never going to work. I was tired out trying to juggle and keep everyone happy, I didn't think about the consequences it would have for me: being so exhausted and not myself, distracted and distant from the people I love because I worrying so much. It was a weird time and I was in a head space that I really did not want to be in.

The thing that a lot of people struggle to realise is: thinking of yourself is not always a selfish and negative action. It takes a while for this mentality to set in and that some people struggle with this concept more than others- if you care a lot about what people think and say about you, it has a much greater effect.

I am not by any means a selfless person, I can be selfish, worrying about myself alone and getting cooped up in my own head and my own problems and not sparing a thought to the people around me. Sometimes people get mad at me, or hurt or irritated and they have to snap me out of it and I feel guilty- I am no saying that I was or am now in any way a saint.

A lot more people would say I am selfish now than would have done last year.

At first, this played on my mind every spare second of the day, I felt this overwhelming pressure that people were looking at me differently and judging me, talking about me behind my back- which is something I have never ever been able to handle. But after a while I realised that constant state of guilt and worry about what people though of me was actually just bloody stupid? 

I realised this: everyone has an opinion about you, but not everyone's opinion matters. For so long I got caught up with the opinions of people who didn't like me, people who don't know me- cute boys I never talked too, popular girls who never smile. I took for granted the opinions of the people who cared about me- my mother, my brother, my friends. Because they were so close to me I almost blocked out what they had to say about me and my actions and my attitude. I'd get frustrated and mad if my mum called me out on a behaviour that was out of line- all the time caught up in guilt and anxiety about what little people thought of me.

I only realised after a couple of very awkward and destructive social situations over the last 2 years that actually- I don't care what little people think of me.

Why?

Go and read the definition again- opinions? They're SUBJECTIVE! People are absolutely allowed to have a bad opinion of me, because I realise that everyone is entitled to their opinion. I have a small circle of close friends (a conversation topic for those little people, who like to talk about the "clique" of annoying people I surround myself with) but, in my opinion, that circle of friends is one of the best I've ever had. My circle is small but consists of the best people I know, people who I love and who love me. People who make me feel better when I'm sad and buy me junk food when I'm sick- people who lend me their jackets and hug me even if they hate hugs.

I keep my circle small because you should only give all of yourself to people you trust- and actually, these little people are not people I trust. Why give yourself up to someone when you are fully aware you will simply be met with more criticism and talking behind your back?
This is something everyone needs to address in themselves, none of us a exempt from it. All of us at one time or another have expressed a mean opinion, talked behind someone's back, remarking on their actions or their character or something about them. As much as every person is entitled to their opinion and we all have freedom of speech, sometimes it's best, especially when you are emotional,a or uninformed to say nothing. Formulate your opinions based on fact as well as your gut reaction, or your opinions will be emotional and often misdirected and judgemental- it can just be destructive. If destructive energy is the only kind of energy your'e putting out, then surely you can see that destructive energy is going to be the only energy coming back to you too.

With how I live myself now I understand and appreciate that people find it harder to like me than before, when I really did try to make everyone have a good opinion of me. But the truth is, I think I am content with allowing people to earn my trust before letting them become an intrinsic part of my world. I keep good people close after a lot of trial and error, because I have opinions about who I keep close, and that's my personal choice.

I have learnt that the opinions that really matter in my life are the ones of people who came through for me. My mum, my brother, my best friends- people who are in my opinion, wonderful good people who understand and know me. They are how I gauge by actions and attitude, if I am out of line in their eyes I reassess. The people I hold close share a lot of my opinions, morals and principles and their understanding of right and wrong is one that I can get on board with and accept- so I do.

It's necessary to realise that every single person around you will have an opinion of you- but that not everyone's matters. The same way it is important to accept constructive criticism you also have to gauge when that criticism becomes destructive and unnecessary. People are going to judge and watch and talk no matter what you do, so just focus on you and the people who are meant to be in your life and just muddle through the best you can.

To My Best Friend (II).

So, I wrote you like this once before- it was very different and very teary and very very honest, and I felt like after that milestone you would never want to read this little blog of everything ever again! But yet when I force posts and reviews on you, you read them and you humour me and I feel like I can probably force you into reading this one too. I know you hate these kinds of cringey things, but I know you appreciate when things are heartfelt- so I figured I would be a huge melt this evening and write a little something.

We're friends through mutual, muddled, acrylic paint and coursework deadline filled circumstances. Through the eye rolling over that annoying girl at school, through dropping every lame excuse in the book for late homework. A random person who had unknowingly sat on the edge of the others social spheres, who turned out be so frighteningly like each other that we still spook each other to this day,

When I met you I was a very very different person and you were too- we made questionable fashion and lifestyle choices, we consumed at least 4 times our daily calorie intake on a weekly basis, and once we got talking people found it very difficult to shut us up. (As they still very often do today.)

Since then there's been a billion coffee dates, Snapchats, Facebook messages. One prom, so many envied profile pictures, a few drunken nights of hilarity and one New Years that neither of us ever want recreated. There's been obscure conversations until early hours of the morning, frantic phone calls, and crisis after crisis.

There was a crazy Halloween, and flapper dresses- that cheeky almost foursome that we stayed well clear of.

There's been friends who turned out not be such great friends, and boys who turned out to be just as stupid as we thought. There have been eventful mornings where the pink shirt makes an appearance- and there was also that time all the lads wore suits. (Class. An absolute class day.)

There was that time we went to Wagamamas and had to walk to the station in the pouring rain with Ollie, who was only wearing a jumper, and laughed ourselves stupid. ( I never will remember what we found so hilarious.)

That time we breathed the same air as Cal, Ash, Mikey and Luke, and we screamed until our throats hurt, and we walked down Camden in search of a Starbucks FOR A STRAIGHT HOUR BECAUSE WE ARE THE DEFINITION OF WHITE GIRLS.

There was that time you were hungover, and we sat on the kitchen floor and I made you toast- we talked about the people we love (and hate) and about stresses and confusion and about how we actually felt about a moron, and I ignored the bitter things in my head and we laughed about silly things and then got back under our duvets because it was 5 am and we were out of it.

There was that time at Ollie's house when everyone ended up attacking each other with wet dishcloths and we had to tidy before his parents got home. We were breathless and hysterical and we had to watch a weird movie with wet t shirts whilst Ollie muttered the entire script.

That time with Kathleen in muffin break when we went for a random coffee.

That really cute lad in the year below, and how much we giggle to be annoying.

There was one session of messages about feeling guilty because the only remotely negative thing we had ever felt towards each other was jealousy. I will never forget that conversation because no one had ever told me something like that before, and I had never said something like that before either.

There's been dates and crushes and morons at school. Teachers that could only be the devils spawn and a few essay related panic attacks. There's been much needed catch ups involving impromptu trips to my house those times when you forgot your keys and we sat and stalked social networks, listened to old songs and went through endless OTP's on Tumblr.

There has of course been youtubers, a day watching Pretty Woman in duvets with all the unhelathy food I could find at Sainsbury's (one of my favourite days). There's been Brighton, and Nandos, and Nero's on a weekly basis- and I think I'm safe to say I have laughed more in your presence than any other human I know.

You have stuck with me, even though I am probably a hugely demanding person- even though I'm clingy and dramatic, and kind of mad. I think it's because secretly you're nuts too and when we're happy and nuts we seem to bounce off each other. Maybe it's because we only have like 4 people we like and 1/4 of them are each other, maybe because we hate the same people- maybe because we can Snapchat serenade each other without fear of humiliation or screenshots.

Whatever we've managed to do since we've known each other we seem to have ended up together trying to work out the utter madness of our very teenage lives, so thank you. Thank you for all the above and more, because I probably couldn't put down the amount of things you've helped me through, laughed with me about, cried a little over, eaten too much of...

So I guess thank you for everything Chummy

x

Back To School Must Haves.

It's that time of year again guys, our triumphant return to school. (Eeeek)

This summer, for me at least, has gone so quickly. It was a summer of relaxing and recuperating, and now that I feel a little more human, I also feel a little more prepared for the next school year. I've had time to sort out my life a little before I get thrown back into my final year- and lord knows it's gonna be busy.

Now I may be a total girly girl and you might judge me, but one of the ways I feel on top of things in life is to look put together. If all else fails and I feel like I'm losing control of things, having great eyebrows or killer lipstick, or on POINT shoes- I feel like I have a little more together in my life. If things are falling apart a little in life and you are totally overwhelmed with it all, a good place to start is eyebrows, I promise.

So, here for you all is a list of my essentials for the new school year- so you can at least start the year feeling put together and fabulous.

1. Facewash

This gentle little dream right here is the Garnier Skin Naturals Pure Active Fruit Energy Daily Energising Gel Scrub. (the name is hella long I know)

This little tube of orange cuteness is a wonderfully gentle gel I use on a daily basis for my morning skin routine. I like to use a gentle wash in the morning and a stronger exfoliator before I go to bed the night before. My skin is quite sensitive when it comes to washes so this one is perfect for a something to make your skin feel a little tighter and smell really quite lovely!



2.  Garnier Ultimate Blends, The Marvellous Glow Oil

If you hair is feeling a little limp, or a little dry- maybe from heat damage, that holiday sun or a little ombre, then this is fabulous stuff.

After I ombred my hair at the start of the summer I really wanted to take care of it properly, because after my first ombre my hair really needed some serious TLC. A little of this stuff really goes a long way for me, and I try to use it as much as I can during the week- but you really don't need to use it every day depending on how damaged your hair is.

There have been a lot of these products brought out over the summer time and they seem to be super popular at the moment. I decided to give this one a go, because as an honorary Broke Girl I like to keep my hair and makeup essentials to a fairly tight budget- this little beauty is only £9.99 at Boots, which compared to other brands bringing out essentially the same product, was pretty good in my mind!

The oil takes a little time to disappear in your hair so I tend to put it on, pin my hair back and do my makeup while my hair absorbs it. By the time I'm dressed and makeup is done my hair is usually good to go, I run my fingers through it (I have no time to spend hours on my hair when I go back to school) and go!
Damage control that smells lovely!

3. Johnson's Face Care Makeup Be Gone Moisturising Wipes 

Makeup wipes are a hand bag essential for school.
I have no idea why schools are so weirdly over heated when we get back into school, but between rushing to classes and being squeezed into non-air conditioned classrooms- eye makeup tends to run, or if you are brave enough to attempt eyeliner on the dodgy bus ride to school, then these are a MUST.

I don't do anything special when it comes to makeup removers usually and tend to get the cheapest and most basic no-perfume packs of wipes from my local Superdrug or Boots store, and it works just fine.

Recently I decided to treat myself a little and buy some Johnson's Face Care Makeup Be Gone Moisturising Wipes. There's not a lot to say about them other than they are super gentle on my skin with a nice subtle smell I love post-shower and pre-bedtime. They  remove makeup so much quicker than the cheapest makeup wipe brands and I just love them!

Johnson's have and entire range of makeup wipes for all different kinds of skin types, ranging from dry skin to oily skin. If you want to give your face a treat and switch up your skin care routine, these are perfect for the job.

4. Gum

For school, be that girl who always have gum- but protect it with your life.
Either embrace the fact you will ALWAYS be asked for a piece by EVERYONE, or get really good at being sneaky about your gum.

My personal favourite is the classic Rigley's Extra packs, they are perfect for being on the go, pre-date freshen up, post lucnh freshen up rituals, and go a long way!

A back to school essential.


5. Rimmel London Colour Rush Balm

Now this is my ABSOLUTE august favourite item.

Being someone who struggles with having fairly large surface area when it comes to my lips, I struggle to find "quick fix" products for my lips when it comes to colours. But this has saved me in my daily make-up routine!

The balm is like a big crayon that you just draw up on your lips, and is really really quick to apply and fix up if you make a mistake. This one really is a quick fix! The product has a bunch of different shades for a pinkish every day tinge or a brighter and bolder lip too- and the thing that's great about it is that because its a balm you can layer it. If you start with one sweep of it you definitely get a first base of colour, but you can build it up however you may need for whatever look you're going for.

The balm is perfect for really long lasting colour after one application, but I recommend topping it up half way through the day to keep it all together. The colour that I personally use is called 'Not and Illusion', a bright peachy pink colour perfect for brightening up my everyday look with a little colour.

The item is about £5.99 at Boots, and it's available at all Rimmel London supplies- currently the product seems to be on offer just about everywhere and I recommend you grab it when you can!


So there we have it my lovelies, my personal favourites for going back to school this year!
Good luck munchkins, it's going to be great.

Balance Is Key.

With exams and everything lately, it's easy to get caught up in our lives- our social dramas, the small circles of people we surround ourselves daily. Our friends, or family, work colleagues etc are all the same, so when it comes to a high stress situation it can be difficult to get out of a negative mindset because other people are also in a negative mindset. In this way it is easy to let difficult situations get the better of you, exam stress can be overwhelming, not only because you're stressed- but because everyone around you is also equally stressed.

This little post is the first one in a long time because there was a lot going on in my life and I haven't had time to sit and vent and process for a while. After a sad but necessary break up, and potentially moving house, as well as up coming exams life has been moving a little fast, so I think I'm going to take the opportunity to sit and think through some advice that I have accumulated over the last few weeks to deal with some stuff.

In order to put a little distance between you and a cloud of negativity or being stuck in a rut, you need moderation and balance. Balance is key, work hard play hard works.

When it comes to your friendships make as much time for your friends when you can. Call them to see how they're doing, it's so much more personal than a text. Go out even if its only for a couple hours where you're not studying or doing chores or whatever, take a couple hours out of your routine. Not only does it give you a change of scene but also hanging around other people who you would typically not see that often gives you a different mindset- a new perspective. Always communicate. Now that is important, especially in times of stress- you need to commnicate how you feel. Do NOT  bottle up your emotions, and do not lie and bitch behind people's backs, it's not good for you or them and it will NOT make anyone feel better in the long term. Negativity breeds further negativity, positivity and love breeds positivity and love. Simple.


When it comes to work do your best, no one including yourself is going to thank you for a half ass attempt are they? Go big or go home when it comes to effort. Don't overthink, often when it comes to challenges at work or school you overthink- whatever problem or hurdle you are facing, do not make it a bigger deal than it actually is, simplify it as far as it will go down and then deal with it. It's like fractions, way harder in 4 digit numbers, simplifying it makes its so much easier to solve.

Do NOT overwork, you will be tired and frustrated and not a positive person to be or be around, its not good for your health or your relationships, so know when to take a breather. Relax.

As much as YOLO and life is for loving, everyone has to do things sometimes that they would rather not to progress in life. The reality is not all of us can drop out of school and be hugely successful microsoft owning billionaires can we? Otherwise everyone would. Exams and issues at work or college or uni need to be dealt with. you just have to do it- but you cant let it kill you. Read a book, have a coffee, go running, go walking, listen to a good album. meditate- take a little time, it wont kill you.

Balance is key to keep you happy and sane.

Friendships.

So lately friendships have been a really topsy turvy part of my life, and I figured this is as good away as any to vent. *Deep breath* so here goes:

Just like any other relationship in life, sometimes even friendships need work.
Sometimes you meet someone who becomes a good friend of yours so quickly, you hang out with them because it's easy, because there are mutual likes, dislikes over movies and music and people and fashion, a lot of similarities- it's simple.But after a long while, you're going to start pissing each other off. It's a fact of life, over time people annoy each other and friends fall out.

Getting annoyed at your friends sometimes is a natural thing. In life people who you're around that much will irritate you, that's just a fact. But being irritated and hurt and fighting with someone on a regular basis is not a healthy or normal relationship. Constant drama and negative feelings are NOT just a normal friendship. You can't hold grudges or bitch about each other, and communication- like in relationships- are key. Fighting happens, you work through you fix problems- but fighting all the time? Fighting is not communicating, that's all I'm saying.

Sometimes friendships run their course... sometimes you need to walk away.
Toxic relationships can happen not just between lovers but also between friends. Some friends get you down to the point you actually start to feel depressed, or involve you in things you shouldn't be involved in, or hurt you or your life in some way, and just generally have a negative impact on you.
It's hard and it takes a lot to do so- but sometimes you need to walk away. You can be supportive until a point, but when someone is affecting your mental and emotional well-being, you need to think about how to distance yourself. You either need to talk to that person and try to move forward and fix the situation in some way- but sometimes thing's are really to broken and sometimes you need to walk away.

Friendships are funny little things- and sometimes walking away from them makes you a bad person. That's just how it is- not being there for people makes you a crappy friend, because sometimes in times of trouble people need you. But sometimes there comes a point where you have to keep your emotional well-being in the balance of things.

Sweater Weather, Better Weather!

SO. Finally, it's happening- sweater weather has arrived!

Disclosure: living in England do not think that I don't treasure and wish for and love every tiny second of sunshine that we've had this summer, don't think that I don't totally and completely appreciate every ounce of vitamins and goodness from the sky, and the heat and the fluffy white clouds and days at the beach and generally soaking up those rays... I do. Trust me, I appreciate every bit of them.

But... it has been a long summer, and it began getting to the point a few days ago, where the mugginess was setting in. Where we were all packed off back to school and shoved into stuffy classrooms and overcrowded buses with the all too familiar and pungent odour of teenage boys after PE classes, and girls spraying an entire ozone layer of body spray. It was sticky and uncomfortable and no one was prepared. School

buildings in the UK aren't built for Indian summers, school uniforms are designed for the bitterly cold winter months, for icy winds and snow and sharp little droplets of rain. So needless to say everyone has been melting for about 4 days now. And for those who, like me, are lucky enough to be in a sixth form that allows home clothes, have nothing to wear. Because we all thought we were being incredibly sensible in shopping Autumn/ Winter for our back to school kit. Little did we know the weather had other plans...

But then- Plot Twist: I woke up this morning tucked right into the covers of my bed, not wanting to stretch out my limbs too far... and why? Because it was too cold. And in some insane way this pleased me. Why?

Because in my personal and humble opinion, sweater weather is better weather.

This first crispy fresh Autumn day is my favourite kind of day. Sweaters and leggings and boots and scarves are all things I love. Hot chocolates on cool Sunday's and walks all wrapped up in the crisp September air- what's not too love? Don't get me wrong, the summer was fabulous- bikini's,shorts, summer dresses and cute little tops is a season I love. But as much as I love soaking in the sun, I can't deny it- being tucked up in a baggy jumper or my favourite jumper of chunky scarf has been all I've wanted for the last week.

So bring on the cool days, the warm clothes and the hot chocolates!