A List of Things I'm Thankful For.

1. My family- who though crazy keep me weirdly sane.
2. My amazing friends- for being rocks.
3. My wonderful boyfriend- a pretty awesome human being all round.
4. My crazy cousins- because they put things into perspective.
5. My house- it's very very very cold out.
6. Princess Diaries- one and two.
7. People who smile and nod encouragingly at you when no one else is listening to your story- saving my self esteem since '97.
8. My iPod- for the memories and the company on public transport.
9. Old pop music- because we all need a little nostalgia from time to time.
10. Videos from when I was little- because the shaky camcorder vibes make me see how far we've come.
11. The Ellen show- standard.
12. People who leave messages in the glass on public transport- you brighten up a day,
13. People who give randomers compliments- you brightened a strangers whole day, good job.
14. People who tell me no matter how much of a lie that I have lost weight- thank you.
15. Warm fresh towels- there are few things better.
16. New sheets feeling- there are SO few things better than this feeling.
17. Hot showers- for life decisions and incredible live performances from my upcoming albums.
18. Really warm socks- Marks and Spencers men's socks, I owe you big.
19. Baby cuddles- if you need to fill up your heart with a little more love than you had before.
20. Cafe Nero- for hosting all of my deeply needed coffee's with my best ones.
21. Notebooks with blank pages- for the post break ups, the pasted in polaroids, the secrets, the crushes and the confessions of 2014.
22. Good sound quality- I do not invest in you enough, and in 2015 I am going to make a point of buying some beautiful headphones.
23. Sunshine- even if you are too weak to warm me up on these insanely cold mornings you put everything in this gorgeous golden light.
24. French toast- because I know you will always be there and you will also be glorious.
25. People who hold on to hugs for ages and make you feel like you are loved- you have saved me from falling apart more times than I will care to admit.
26. People who lend pens, hairbands, rulers, homework, textbooks etc etc etc- you are truly giving human beings.
27. Ed Sheerans EP albums- I will always feel carefree and teenage when I hear you pop up on my playlist.
28. Green Tea- for making me feel like a goddess of health when I have eaten 32 Jaffa Cakes the day before.
29. Lip balm- you take the edge off the cold and keep me looking like I have it relatively together.

Positive Energy.

Okay, so here's what I think.
In this life you put out an energy.

You know sometimes you meet someone and they're eccentric and funny, they have a charisma and a charm that makes them attractive to be around? I'm not talking attracting you to them in a relationship way, I'm talking you are attracted to their energy: their enthusiasm, their manners, their stance on certain issues, the way they hold and present themselves, what they have to say about things in life that matter- a person's drive or focus. All that kind of stuff that keeps you interested in a person, keeps you engaged in what they're doing and have to say- you leave a conversation with them inspired or driven, happy, or even feeling a little lighter.

Chat's with people who put out good energy and invaluable. Some people have a gift, in that their innate drive and avidity for something allows them to convert other people's energy into something good and positive. People like that are gems in the world that we live in: in a state of gossip and controversy, bitching and a little craziness, it is so completely refreshing to meet people like with positive energy.

Sometimes it happens that when the right combination of people get together they bounce off each other- musically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually. It is not always in a good way, for example: you can be with a group of  really gossipy friends who sit and steam over the latest scandal at school and leave conversations with them negative, bitchy and a little whiny, thinking over the issues in life and picking flaws in your own. But some people are so constructive when they are together.

I am lucky to have a best friend who I can really bounce of positively: even if we meet for coffee down and pissed off and done with the world and the people around us (family, friends, boyfriends, ex-friends, teachers etc) we can still finish that session of coffee laughing hysterically having vented and worked through solutions to all of our issues.

Sometimes you need to vent. Period.
People need an outlet, and often talking to another human being is the perfect way of doing that. You need to put out what you are feeling and work through it, but you do not need to put out negative energy. You can vent your feelings without bringing people down and you can be sad or angry or hurt without having huge and dramatic effect on the people around you.

Be the sort of person who puts out positive energy.
Have a passion for what you do best, work hard, have a drive and focus. Make time for other people, and take an interest in what they have to say to you- LISTEN don't just hear, it makes such a difference and the person you are talking to will feel so much better having spoken to you. Human interaction is deteriorating in an age of a digital world, a lack of bike rides and late night walks, and Snapchat. Listen to people how you would like to be listened to.

If you love something, be a part of it. Embrace what you love, do what you love and practice what you preach.

If you are living a life that you love, chances are it will love you back. Bear that in mind as you go about your day to day. 

Good friends.

Good friends are like good jeans, or bras, or luggage. Those are things you need as standard in your life. If you have these fundamental things I promise you that life will be easier, because your core components are of good quality and will last you a very long time.

In your life you are going to meet a lot of people, and as the years go on, you and the people around you are going to change. You are going to meet people who change you too, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. You're going to meet a boy that you would turn your world upside down for, you're going to sit next to a girl who bites her nails and you are going to have to resist the habit yourself (and probably fail too, don't feel bad the best of us fall to the nail biting).

There will be people who get you into boybands, or heavy metal, or Instagram. Crazy health kids who put you on a mad diet, a wise grandparent who changes your life with a humbug and a story from the days of black and white photos- the people that you surround yourself with will shape you and the way you are.

Therefore, in my 17 years experience of this big wide world, you need to surround yourself with wonderful people. People who make you do this:

And this:

Or this:

And make you act like this:

What I'm saying is, you need to surround yourself with good people. "Good" I am aware is a relative term, so let me just expand on what I mean. You need to surround yourself with people who are going to be good to you, treat you with respect. People who respect you will care about your opinion, but equally aren't going to sugar coat it when you are wrong. You need to have people in your life who are going to call you out on your BS, and keep you grounded if you get a little bit too floaty. But equally you cannot surround yourself with people who constantly bring you down- people who will support you and care for you and push you higher are essential for your individual happiness and well being.

I am incredibly blessed to have an incredibly supportive mother and wonderful group of friends who play this role in my life. Without this network of support and laughs and tea drinking maniacs, my life would not even be half as entertaining, ad I would not have consumed half as much coffee as I do with them.

Now, people are all flawed. Just because someone is a wonderful person does not mean that they will not make mistakes. You can do dumb shit without being a dumb shit, you feel? If you have a good friend who screws up with you, give it time- but forgive them. If a person is not there for you one time when you needed them I know it's difficult, I know it hurts and I know that you feel like they are no longer a good person for you. But if they're trying and showing you that they are there, and are sorry and make it up to you- and if that person would move the moon and sun to make sure you're okay again, then kid's it's important you forgive them. People mess up, we're human- the human condition dictates that we make huge mistakes, but we grow and we learn from them. Good friends will mes up, but if they are truly good friends to you, you need to forgive and forget.

I'm not saying that all people deserve to be forgiven. If you have a best friend who sleeps with your boyfriend and kills your hamster and dates your dad- damn son, you can push the slag out of your life. Toxic people lead to toxic relationships, making your life harder and more difficult- but good friends will improve your life, and make it happier. You have to be able to see the difference between people who are there for you and people who say they are, that's the true distinction between good friends and acquaintances who once showed an interest. 

If you are having a hard time you need to be aware that if you have a good network of friends, they will always try and help you. Don't keep it all bottled up because that will hurt you, and pushing them away will hurt your relationships too. Talk to your friends, over coffee, at your house, at their house, on the phone, scream it across a field, send a message by pigeon post- whatever you want, but make sure you communicate because good friends will always make you feel better.

Go out with your friends, make room for their mad interests as well as your own. Go to that comic book convention with your crazy guy friends, let them talk physics at you. Shop with your wanna-be Made in Chelsea crazed girls, talk Monet with the arty ones, try those cookies they make, listen to that song even if it's uber depressing and awful- you'll learn something along the way.

When it comes down to it, whatever you want your friends to be to you, you need to be to them. If you want someone supportive, crazy and kind, a good listener and a fast talking gossip buddy- you need to be all of those things. If you want consistent and strong and grounding, be that for them.

Good friends, like good bras, good jeans and good luggage will carry you throughout your life, making the struggles and journey along the way more manageable. They will be reliable, they will make it through the hard times with you, and they wont leave you when the pressure is too high, or the wash is too hot. But you have to take care of them too. Never underestimate the importance of good friends.

Friendships.

So lately friendships have been a really topsy turvy part of my life, and I figured this is as good away as any to vent. *Deep breath* so here goes:

Just like any other relationship in life, sometimes even friendships need work.
Sometimes you meet someone who becomes a good friend of yours so quickly, you hang out with them because it's easy, because there are mutual likes, dislikes over movies and music and people and fashion, a lot of similarities- it's simple.But after a long while, you're going to start pissing each other off. It's a fact of life, over time people annoy each other and friends fall out.

Getting annoyed at your friends sometimes is a natural thing. In life people who you're around that much will irritate you, that's just a fact. But being irritated and hurt and fighting with someone on a regular basis is not a healthy or normal relationship. Constant drama and negative feelings are NOT just a normal friendship. You can't hold grudges or bitch about each other, and communication- like in relationships- are key. Fighting happens, you work through you fix problems- but fighting all the time? Fighting is not communicating, that's all I'm saying.

Sometimes friendships run their course... sometimes you need to walk away.
Toxic relationships can happen not just between lovers but also between friends. Some friends get you down to the point you actually start to feel depressed, or involve you in things you shouldn't be involved in, or hurt you or your life in some way, and just generally have a negative impact on you.
It's hard and it takes a lot to do so- but sometimes you need to walk away. You can be supportive until a point, but when someone is affecting your mental and emotional well-being, you need to think about how to distance yourself. You either need to talk to that person and try to move forward and fix the situation in some way- but sometimes thing's are really to broken and sometimes you need to walk away.

Friendships are funny little things- and sometimes walking away from them makes you a bad person. That's just how it is- not being there for people makes you a crappy friend, because sometimes in times of trouble people need you. But sometimes there comes a point where you have to keep your emotional well-being in the balance of things.