Good friends.

Good friends are like good jeans, or bras, or luggage. Those are things you need as standard in your life. If you have these fundamental things I promise you that life will be easier, because your core components are of good quality and will last you a very long time.

In your life you are going to meet a lot of people, and as the years go on, you and the people around you are going to change. You are going to meet people who change you too, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. You're going to meet a boy that you would turn your world upside down for, you're going to sit next to a girl who bites her nails and you are going to have to resist the habit yourself (and probably fail too, don't feel bad the best of us fall to the nail biting).

There will be people who get you into boybands, or heavy metal, or Instagram. Crazy health kids who put you on a mad diet, a wise grandparent who changes your life with a humbug and a story from the days of black and white photos- the people that you surround yourself with will shape you and the way you are.

Therefore, in my 17 years experience of this big wide world, you need to surround yourself with wonderful people. People who make you do this:

And this:

Or this:

And make you act like this:

What I'm saying is, you need to surround yourself with good people. "Good" I am aware is a relative term, so let me just expand on what I mean. You need to surround yourself with people who are going to be good to you, treat you with respect. People who respect you will care about your opinion, but equally aren't going to sugar coat it when you are wrong. You need to have people in your life who are going to call you out on your BS, and keep you grounded if you get a little bit too floaty. But equally you cannot surround yourself with people who constantly bring you down- people who will support you and care for you and push you higher are essential for your individual happiness and well being.

I am incredibly blessed to have an incredibly supportive mother and wonderful group of friends who play this role in my life. Without this network of support and laughs and tea drinking maniacs, my life would not even be half as entertaining, ad I would not have consumed half as much coffee as I do with them.

Now, people are all flawed. Just because someone is a wonderful person does not mean that they will not make mistakes. You can do dumb shit without being a dumb shit, you feel? If you have a good friend who screws up with you, give it time- but forgive them. If a person is not there for you one time when you needed them I know it's difficult, I know it hurts and I know that you feel like they are no longer a good person for you. But if they're trying and showing you that they are there, and are sorry and make it up to you- and if that person would move the moon and sun to make sure you're okay again, then kid's it's important you forgive them. People mess up, we're human- the human condition dictates that we make huge mistakes, but we grow and we learn from them. Good friends will mes up, but if they are truly good friends to you, you need to forgive and forget.

I'm not saying that all people deserve to be forgiven. If you have a best friend who sleeps with your boyfriend and kills your hamster and dates your dad- damn son, you can push the slag out of your life. Toxic people lead to toxic relationships, making your life harder and more difficult- but good friends will improve your life, and make it happier. You have to be able to see the difference between people who are there for you and people who say they are, that's the true distinction between good friends and acquaintances who once showed an interest. 

If you are having a hard time you need to be aware that if you have a good network of friends, they will always try and help you. Don't keep it all bottled up because that will hurt you, and pushing them away will hurt your relationships too. Talk to your friends, over coffee, at your house, at their house, on the phone, scream it across a field, send a message by pigeon post- whatever you want, but make sure you communicate because good friends will always make you feel better.

Go out with your friends, make room for their mad interests as well as your own. Go to that comic book convention with your crazy guy friends, let them talk physics at you. Shop with your wanna-be Made in Chelsea crazed girls, talk Monet with the arty ones, try those cookies they make, listen to that song even if it's uber depressing and awful- you'll learn something along the way.

When it comes down to it, whatever you want your friends to be to you, you need to be to them. If you want someone supportive, crazy and kind, a good listener and a fast talking gossip buddy- you need to be all of those things. If you want consistent and strong and grounding, be that for them.

Good friends, like good bras, good jeans and good luggage will carry you throughout your life, making the struggles and journey along the way more manageable. They will be reliable, they will make it through the hard times with you, and they wont leave you when the pressure is too high, or the wash is too hot. But you have to take care of them too. Never underestimate the importance of good friends.

Chapters.

Hello there lovelies!

So, lately things got a little bit wild in my little life and my blog posts were to say the least- pretty sad. After a very busy year I had a lot of time to myself this summer to consider life and to slow down and process things. This year was one that has definitely changed me forever, and I don't think I will ever be the same again. The people I've met, the experiences I've had, have all shaped me. This year I found out so much more about what it is to be me. I am comfortable with me, I am not ashamed of my likes and dislikes, and I let people take me as I am- and in that way this year has been one of the best years of my life. It's been a crazy roller-coaster but in complete and total honesty I would not change it for the world.

I deleted a post that I wrote earlier this week, because in essence it was a conversation that I should have had with my best friend. It was a post for her and a little for me to get myself together and process. I deleted the post because I didn't need it any more. And because now I'm closing that chapter.

So this is it, this blog post marks the closing of an old chapter and the starting of a new one. 

And I think this little mantra stolen from Tumblr was a good way to kick off this new beginning.

I've been thinking a lot about new beginnings lately. I recently moved house, so that's a new start in itself. I am starting a new school year, and many other new adventures. It's crazy to comprehend that you can change your life any time you want to these days. You could completely change your routine- you could buy an one way ticket somewhere, stop eating meat, dress exclusively in blue, start belly dancing, write a book, make a new friend, see a new place- we sit there in our comfort zone and our little box what is normal and routine, when if you look at your life, you don't actually have to.

We can change our lives right this second if we really wanted to.

We don't have to wait for a date or time too.

This second, this moment right here could the the instant you decide to change your life. You don't have to wait for a new year, a new week- your life doesn't start on a Monday morning at 6.30am. If you wanted to change your life at half past one on a Sunday afternoon, or 3am on a Tuesday morning you can do that. I mean, really think about the things that are holding you back- are they really restricting you as much as you think? Or in actuality- those walls and boundaries and restrictions in your hear, are you building them up yourself?

So here we go: this is a new start right here. And here's what that new start entails:

• This blog will only have positive posts on it, and I'm not sorry at all. People underestimate how powerful spreading love and happiness and positive energy is, you can change someone's whole day if they read something that's going to encourage them and make them smile and give them a little push.
• Kick ass every day in one way or another.
• Wake up and achieve at least 3 goals every day.
• No leaving the hard stuff till last.
• Eliminate all negativity in your daily routine- if that's a bitching session with your friends that leaves you angry at the world, change it up- make the outcome of that conversation positive. By all means vent, but make sure that it leads somewhere, make sure you can move forward from it, trust me it makes you feel so much better.
• Keep your friends and family close, do not push the ones you love away- they will keep you stable, they will keep you grounded, and somewhat help with your sanity.
• Be honest always, if someone asks you something important, personal- be real with them. Being real is the most important thing in my life, and I gravitate towards people who are comfortable and real about themselves. I like honest people, I like up front people, people who don't talk shit or lie, and those are the kinds of people I aspire to be.

So here it is. My new start, my plan to seize the day and make a change- because you are the only person who can change your life to be what you want.

Peace and love and all that corny stuff.

Have a great day lovelies xxx

The Importance of an Inspiration: My Mum

Everyone has people they look up to for different reasons. There are the greats: Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr, Mohammad Ali- and the recently passed Nelson Mandela. Figures of greatness and strength, people who gave others hope, a voice. People like that gave people their whole lives, created a place where people could really live and not just be alive. Victoria's Secret models are, in the minds of many young girls, the pinnacle of beauty and fitness- so are an inspiration to them. Politicians inspire thousands of people in life to strive to make a change in the world, like Obama. Some people are inspired by successful people, celebrities, fashion designers, the rich, the famous- But (and wait for the cringe) my mum has to be one of the most inspirational people in my life. 

Recently a wonderful lady who I knew died fighting cancer.Cancer is an awful thing to happen to any family, and the effects of it are honestly devastating. She had 3 kids. All 3 were left without either parent to try and put together their lives, while there was a hole in their hearts where she should have been. I cannot even begin to imagine how much strength it takes for those three to carry on in their lives with neither parent to guide them, and the loss of their mother staying with them. It really made me think about how much my mum means to me and does for me in my life. The woman is irreplaceable. 

So, this post is dedicated to my Mumma.
What a cringe, what a mummy's girl- I know what you're thinking, how cliche, of course she loves her mum. Yes of course my mum, but like every other person in the world I forget about her and take her for granted. I forget that just because she's a mum she does not have everything together. She does not necessarily know what to do, she will make mistakes, she gets mad, she can lose it sometimes. The fact that you love your mum does not make up for taking her for granted, being rude or disrespectful. I can understand for people who have a rocky relationship with their parents how frustrating people like me must be... but honestly in most cases, our mother tried their hardest to make everything good for us. Generally they want the best for us, they want us to succeed, be happy in our lives. So assuming they know you love them too is not a good thing. Mother's invest so much into their kids, whether it is wanted or not. Think about everything your mum does for you... all of us are at least a little spoilt by our Mumma's.

Now don't get me wrong, there are times I want to yell and scream and fight with her about something, because the woman can nag, and she can be a little harsh with her judgement  or I wont like the tone she's taking with me, or she'll stress me out too much over things- we are not perfect people. We're as bad as each other when it comes to our tempers, but we love each other ridiculous amounts as well. Affection and love is something I was lucky enough to always have plenty of as a child, almost too much. My mum tried to shield me from a lot of things in life, keep us all safe and happy- I always knew I was loved.

That's why I can never really fight with the woman, because one of us will be wrong- and because we love each other the one who is wrong will admit it, we work on it and we move on. She will never hold a grudge, she just let's go and we learn and move forward. Even if I made a terrible mistake and screwed things up she'll sit through it with me, ask me what I learned from it and we move forward.

Her patience with me is second to none, she knows when to let me have my space and work things out but she also knows when to talk to me. She knows when she needs to push me, if I'm slacking- because she expects me to try my best. My mum is a wonderful, beautiful, strong woman, and I appreciate her immensely because without her I don't know what I would do. She inspires me to work hard, because that's how she got where she is today. She inspires me to be patient and loving with everyone. She taught me how to be strong and to stand up for myself, and that the only person I should rely to get me places is myself. 

She is a wonderful beautiful woman and I really couldn't do without her, so she deserves a little help around the house. She needs a few things done when she gets home from work. Family time is important to her and I should try to be enthusiastic about it. I should let her embarrass me sometimes- it keeps her young. Because I couldn't be without her, she is honestly a true inspiration to me with whatever direction I take in my life.

Love you Mumma.